green, and what not.

::bon:: / Monday, November 27, 2006

sorry, didn't update cos 1) my psle mark was really bad and i don't want to talk about it. and i hope you people would do me a favour of keeping it hush-hush. thanks! 2) there's nothing much going on my life right now.

yeahh. i chose FRENCH for my 3rd language! woo hoo! i mean, i would really love to learn korean but korean was (obviously) not offered. so i had to choose between french, german and japanese. i chose french. even though in the gwr the top ten languages used in the world does not contain french.

it was like:

Chinese (yahhh! chinese! surprising, no?)
English
....
....
....
....
....
....
Japanese
German

i can't remember 3-8 cos it was like italian, spanish that sort of thing, but i know it didn't have french. but well learning a third language is like an extra thing. just to widen your knowledge and culture of that language

well, attended a wedding of an uncle in my extended extended family. don't even KNOW him. and no, it's not a ten course dinner in a posh hotel/restaurant like what my auntie clarin had. but a buffet is good enough! i love sausages! hmm, that kind of sausages that is grilled over a fire? yeah, that kind. lol, and MUSHROOM SOUP. i went to the arcade and sneak in sausages. i got a new obsessions on racing cars. been racing (2 players with my cuzzin) so much! woo hoo, rather high.

YOU SEE? i have nothing right now to talk about. unless you want me to drone on some philosophical things that i have done before. reference to jean's blog:i think i know the person you're talking about. lying big fat lies, that well, you thought (MOST THOUGHT) it was true. just laugh it off. just take it like a fictional story, like what i did. never did i believe him. his lies/stories were far too far-fetched. i know you always believed him (MANY DID) and because you just found out about his lies, you're hurt/betrayed and wouldn't believe he would lie so much to you (AND MANY OTHERS TOO). well, it's his own folly and well, his loss. so too bad, just laugh it off. and you'll get a really REALLY (i'm not kidding) good laugh. just piecing the pieces together and find out the many loopholes. haha.

omg, i need k-dramas. it's like crazy. it's called ADDICTION. and more books! even though i've got like tons of books not read, but i just want to buy it. i don't know, books make my day. FOXTROT rocks! BABY BLUES rocks! JOO JI HOON - rocks the world!! okay, my world at least.

parties, anyone? i need to see you people lehh.

/ihopped at
4:19 AM

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::bored:: / Tuesday, November 21, 2006

bored. so i'm doing this even if i'm not stabbed.

name 20 people and answer the following questions.

me!
janet
jean
laura
zhen
christabel
bernice
kevin
jd
jinyin
ryan ng
janne
dee
mrs. o
mrs tan
zheng ls
jieru
SHIN GOON! he's counted as a person right?
shiren
taijian(cr)

How did you meet 14? [mrs o.] simple! teacher inthe last semester of p5. and one of the greatest teacher. hee. XD
What would you do if you never met 1? [me] very funny. i CAN'T do anything since i never met me.
What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? [taijian and jd] a whole lot of feats of laughter. haha. i can just imagine them holding hands, walking down east coast...
Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? [jieru and christabel] maybe, in what sense? couple sense - then chris's suitors would all go cry mummy.
Describe Number 3. [jean] lol. deep. that's it. go figure - this word encompasses many.
Do you think 8 is attractive? [kevin] what kind of question is this? NO. duh
Tell me something about 7. [bernice] great friend. always there for me..
Do you know anything about 12's family? [janne] yeah, parents and one brother who's not in gep.
What is 10's favourite? [jinyin] i don't know, she doesn't really tell. but there's furuba, friends and cards.
What would you do if 11 confesses his/her love to you? [ryan ng] i tell you he wouldn't okay, it's kinda obvious.
What language does 15 speak?[ mrs tan] english of course! and maybe a little bit of chinese.
Who is 18 going out with? [SHIN GOON!] no-one. i would hack that person to death if she dares lay a hand on jjh unless its YEH. or me. (highly unlikely though)
What is your relationship with 16 and how old is he/she? [zhengls] teacher student relationship. and she wouldn't tell anyone her age. but she look like the high 30's. oh, i might be flattering her...
When was the last time you talked to 13? [dee] graduation. and sms, asking me what colour i wanted my birthday present tobe...
Who's 2's favourite singer? [janet] err, i really don't know. her brother?
Would you date number 4 [ laura] no. first, i'm not les. second, she wouldn't allow me to for reasons that are obvious to many.
Would you date 14? [mrs. o] ahem. i'm really laughing. no, cos she's my teacher and she's married. haha
Is 15 sinqle? [mrs tan] you think she is?
What's 10's last name? [jinyin] yip
Would you ever consider a BGR with 6? [chris] no. again, people would cry..
What school does 3 go to? [jean] nyps, going nygh. sigh
Where does 19 live? [sr] near serene centre! i love her house. well i know it's some 63...
What's your favourite thing about 5? [zhen] favourite? she has so many great points. well, she listens. and that's one of the best things you can get from a friend.
What do you think of Number 13? [dee] absolutely fun to be with. well, she laughs alot.
What do 4 and 17 have in common? [laura and jieru] both females! hee. and both rather tall
What special position does 14 hold in your life? [mrs. o] haha. special position, eh? she was a teacher who taught me great things. that's all.
Who does 16 have a crush on? [zhengls] rofl. she wouldn't, she's married alrd and have kids!
Who has a crush on 12? [janne] don't know. i don't think so though. though i know who used to. but i think i'd rather keep my mouth shut then send my head rolling.
What is 9's hobby? [jd] i don't know, not as if i know him very well. ahem. replying sr's emails and smses?
What is 20's full name? [taijian] lee chang rui. taijian being his middle name. haha. so it's lee taijian chang rui.
What is 18's relationship with you and how old is he/she/it this year? [SHIN GOON!!] he's my fave korean star and maybe one of the reasons i live! lol. and he's 24-25. atleast younger and more charismatic than kim jeong hoon. hmmph.

not stabbing anybody. if you want to do this quiz. do it. lol

/ihopped at
11:44 PM

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top ten entertainment in my life(random)__

MTV. father would go: channel lock! CHANNEL LOCK! popinc, myown, supersweet16, trl!
K-DRAMAS!. father would go: what kind of show is this?! but it stars my fave stars! jjh! omg, i'm obsessed. daejanggeum, fullhouse, pariyeuning, goong!, samsoon, wintersonata, lovers in prague, lovestory in harvard, sangdoo, and so on!
omg. i have nothing liao. books! yay! at least something my father agrees on. eragon!, alexrider, memory keeper's, jodipicoult, rickriordon, PHILLIPPULLMAN! woot.
Music! sigh, father would be: "what?! so noisy!" bep!, pcd, shayne ward, christina aguilera, k-drama OST!
Shopping, duh! and as expected, father: "shopping is not for people your age~" but just look at all those stores, esprit, clubmarc, gap, guess?, and so on. hello? ever heard of window shopping?
Going to friends house and talk the time of our life. the only house my father very willingly allows me to go is chris's. the rest would be either too far, or would be a waste of time.
Internet! father: "remember internet safety rules!" sigh. but internet's a gate way to everything!
TELEVISION! woot. i love reality tv! and disney channel's original movie! antm, project runway..but stupidly the people who are very good don't win. this applies to both shows. hmmph.
photography. this, i cannot explain. it's just..refreshing.
BLOGGING! whoot. why do you think i spend hours in front of this template writing down my thoughts?

top ten books in my life (random)__

The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult moving, and really tragic. i cried when there was the parts of the conflict between daniel and laura. really sad.
My Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards really really sad. this book, especially the parts of the drift between the memory keeper and the workoholic...
His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman hello, phillip pullman here? it's really good, and breath-taking. ha
The Snake-Stone by Berlie Dorothy feeling-ish (how zhen calls it) and the flashbacks are really moving.
Ji.Mi by Ji.Mi (all books, chinese) very abstract, once you get the idea you get flashbacks in your life and tears would start to roll. really, that's what happens to me.
The Secret Garden greatest classic of all times. i really loved it.
Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan really good. mystery, fantasy and mythology. it's really suspenseful
Eragon by Christophor Paulini fantasy, where dreams really do come true.
The Little book of Habits by Various hmm, eye-opening.
Reader's Digest! whoo hoo,really cool stories. ought to subscribe to it.

top 10 artistes and their songs (random)__

Rihanna! pon de replay/unfaithful/sos
Shayne Ward! woo hoo! no promises/stand by me/back at one/that's my goal
Christina Aguilera! genie in a bottle/lady marmalade/car wash/ain't no other man/reflections
Stacie Orrico! i'm not missing you/stuck/bounce back/more to life
K-DRAMA ost! goong/full house/my girl
bep! pump it/my humps/don't phunk with my heart and more
pcd! i don't need a man/don't cha/stickwitu/beep/buttons!
JJ lin alot of songs
Jesse Mccartney
Carrie Underwood!

top ten k-dramas!(random)__

MY GIRL! woo hoo! christmas special and terribly funny, tear-jerking a few times.
GOONG!(goong) how can i miss this! JJH!! woo hoo
FULL HOUSE! bi! so cute and really funny. one of the best!
JEWEL IN THE PALACE!(daejanggeum) glorious food! woo hoo
Lovers in Paris (pariyeuoning) haha, good charm! and really funny
Samsoon! i don't like kim soon-ah, but it's funny. HYUN BIN rocks!
Lovers in Prague. there's a certain charm. wait, there's a charm in every k-drama!
Love Story in Harvard! great chemistry, really hooking
Winter Sonata! yeah, bae yong jun and choi ji woo! not really nice plot but seeing them together..heaven?
Sangdoo, Let's go to school. very tragic end..

/ihopped at
6:57 PM

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::scrunch:: / Monday, November 20, 2006

WESTLIFE-I Cry

You said goodbye
I fell apart
I fell from all we had
To I never knew
I needed you so bad

You need to let things go
I know, you told me so I
've been through hell
To break the spell

Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling
I once knew

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
I cry Cause you're not here with me
Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again

If you could see me now
You would know just how
How hard I try
Not to wonder why

I wish I could believe in something new
Oh please somebody tell me it's not true (oh girl)
I'll never be over you

Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling
I once knew

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
I cry Cause you're not here with me
Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again

If I could have you back tomorrow
If I could lose the pain and sorrow
I would do just anything
To make you see, still love me

I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause you're not here with me
I cry Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again

why did you have to leave, it hurts so much. like something being wrenched out agian and again. that tug, as long as see you, i feel you, there's something in there stirring. and the emotions come out. i cry. i cry as i see you drifting slowly. away from the world that once belonged to us only. and i know, it'll take a miracle for you to come back. to unbreak my heart. a miracle that would never happen.

/ihopped at
9:05 PM

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i don't know..i'm not crying, maybe it's because i forced the tears back in. but i know, deep inside, i can feel something stirring. something deep and really moving my emotions. yeah, alot of things been happening to me. friends, boys [rather, hims], and graduation. i don't know, i'll be missing you lots. all.

really big problems with friends. girls will always be girls..looking into every tiny little detail, being petty and such. you know, sometimes i don't wish to be one. i wish to be nobody. just like someone just floating around [yeah, whatever ghost] and watching people do stuff. and just gaining emotions and knowledge like that. selfishness, posessiveness. that's why you see so many problems in school because of friends. girl friends. excuseme, not joined up together. they just one friend, to themselves. total posessiveness. selfish and jealous when others hang out with this super duper bestest greatest friend. i don't know. FRIENDS are just FRIENDS. they hang out together. if you want one all to yourself. it isn't called friendship, it's called selfishness.

and that two hims. whatever, i don't care what you call me. fickle-minded, two-timer. urgh. whatever, okay. because now, i've REALLY REALLY decided that i'm not going to like anyone until jc. yeah, sure i'll miss SOME boys but hello? miss doesn't mean like. and besides, i'll not become les. when i go sec..sigh. i don't know about this two hims. i mean, the first one [obviously not going to specify, however obvious] i really really like him. okay and yeah, abscence makes the heart grow fonder. but i don't know, he's been hurting me okay. or rather his presence his tone is hurting me. so no, i'm not going to like him. and then there's him2. err, this one, obviously won't like me. okay but well, he's (i think) just a really good guy friend. that's all. so the tears on both of them once shed will not be cried again.

graduation. i've never known it would affect me so bad. i'm not going to talk about it. it'll just make it flow again. just the thought of them leaving, how the boys made gep a part. how the freaks took gep into a whole new level. hah! as you reminise on those people who would be just memories soon. as you take a bus to a whole new place, where you would discover and explore.

where that vicious cycle would repeat itself again.

/ihopped at
8:40 PM

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::phase:: / Sunday, November 19, 2006

new blogger! lol. i guess it's around the same. really sorry for not blogging for a really long time. bi-ya-neh. sorry, korean craze. been thinking of lots of stuff..crying upon lots of thinking. i guess it's that kind of phase. that kind of unavoidable phase. and yet again, i can't explain it. trying not to cry, and not to look at pictures. pictures are that key to heart-breaking memories. memories.

oneliners! yay!

uh-huh. we won the debate! umph, dono whether to be sad or whatever. cos everyone (almost) was cheering 6L on. we thought we would lose. haha. i guess miracles do happen.
oh. and i was selected best speaker. and apparantly, again, everybody wanted BS to take the title. sheesh. i mean really, it's like one in a thousand chances that the REPLY speaker would get that award.
okay, totally crazy over shayne ward/k-dramas and jjh!! lol.
went shopping!! uh-huh. totally cool. first went with chris. then, with zhen, shiren and jieru. then with my own family. and coincidentally. i was the one who spent the most money on all 3 shopping trips. except that the last one, wasn't paid with my own money. hee.
birthday!! yay! apparantly the same date as kevin's. MY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS ROCKED! thanks people!
at home. umm, not too happy or whatever. trying to uncry those tears. going to develop a schedule. trying not to think about stuff. trying..and it isn't working.
trying to put up a brave and smiling front.
I WANT TO GO TO HOUSES! you know, visiting. like jin's, chris's, sr's....
craving for chocolate.
and laughter. nopes, not even the funniest babyblue's or foxtrot's comics (i just borrowed) can make me laugh. i want real people making me laugh real.

there's alot of things going on in my mind lately. however, i can't really explain it now. not now, maybe later. cya for now.

/ihopped at
7:47 PM

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::sands of time:: / Tuesday, November 14, 2006

i'm crying. again - as i write this post. one of the very last post i have on the days we had in p4-6. those wonderful years and friends- i'm gonna miss them so much. especially jinyin, shiren, jean and jieru. great friends going to another school. but no, i'm not crying totally for them. i'm crying because everything is happening around me now - things that i wanted to come later. and i can't handle it. i'll state:

friends, teachers. i'm gonna miss them so much memories last, i hope it lasts forever
him. if i do see him again, i'll either cry, ignore him (run, more like) or just hit him hard. it's painful just sending pointless emails to an ignorant person. but..you just can't let go.
him and her. another him, of course. sigh. i don't know if it's jealousy or what but i just can't take it. it's just, perhaps a very close friendship.
him and her2. i've asked another someone for advice. i just cry because her2 cries. you know that beautiful romance blooming between them, is shattering. and i can't bear it.

it's number 3 and 4 that i hate the most. the ones that are causing my tears to overflow. i won't be meeting the 4 next year. and the year after and so on. i think i'm gonna shatter. sand crumbles and fall through your hands, and it falls. you look at it, rather beautiful and sophisticated isn't it. that sand - represents the time that you'll never catch. or turn back. only the memories left - of how that handful of sand fell through your hands, leaving your hands grainy. the only momentos left. that's life. that's all you can get through your experience.

i want to stop those tears. but i can't. because i like them too much. the hims and the hers. the sands of time. the sands of time that can never be forgotten. goodbye.

/ihopped at
4:31 AM

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::wilt:: / Wednesday, November 08, 2006

"let's keep it friendly.."it'll be always like that, no, maybe colder. i'm sending emails. to nobody. yes, nobody. it's to the same person's email, i found him, but he isn't replying. he replied once. just once. and the tone, wasn't what i expected. it was something so cold, so distant yet rather/vaguely familiar. i've never seen him. for so long. and inside me, it's crashing, it's pratically wilting. i just want to see him again.

it's painful. it's like something is crashing, but you don't know what it is. i can feel nothing there anymore.

i'm flodding his inbox. and i'm sorry. but it's seriously painful. to keep waiting. every word i type, every email i send. i can cry. because there's a longing. a one-sided longing, perhaps. and i know, it's hurts much more, to send those emails and receiving no replies for over a week. perhaps i'm too anxious. i check my inbox everyday. i make a point, to reply his replies (just once) in a day. but i wait so long. he doesn't care? i need to see him. it's hurting again. so much.

and i did. but i didn't see him. it's fated, we're suppose to keep a long distance communication. no face to face. it's fated. you know how life could be so cruel. so cruel that you want to destroy all hope. that thing called fate - i want to smash it. and burn it. those hungry flames, so wanting to consume that invisible thing that's destroying everybody's life.

maybe it's not fate. it's him.

/ihopped at
1:40 AM

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sorry, didn't post. didn't feel like doing anything at all. besides, school's still as boring as ever. well, besides the inter-class debate. which i would now go on to describe.

it was umm, on friday. and we had already prepared the day before, so we were pretty (very) confident. firstly, we prepared alot. secondly, we heard that our opponent ('L') didn't prepare yet so yeah. according to zhen, bs told them, "oh, i'll let you freshies do it!" umm, he's born to be mean, even though he's cute (you know, adorable) in a vampy way (you go zhen!) but when we met up in the morning, bernice came looking rater umm say, downcast. and apparantly, she saw part of the l'ers preparing, and they were, according to her, very prepared. i didn't say anything, but i really wanted to concentrate on our own performance, not to compare so much with theirs. so we carried on rehearsing.

then, after recess, we went down to the interaction room. and everyone was suppose to be present. that didn't really freak me out, cos i have been put in the same spot last time. but edward was. very very freaked out. he was, seriously, trembling. and besides he's the only boy in the team. so i don't know, i mean for our team's sake, i had to comfort him and all sort of nonsense. but in the end, it didn't pay off very much. he had the content, but it was his style and structure. while comforting him, i was in a way comforting myself. comforting myself that edward would do well and everything would go fine. i wasn't scared, at that time, how i was going to fair. i was scared of how edward would fair. because seriously, edward's score is a 100 while mine is only upon 50.

so janne went up. she spoke fast, but it was okay. [and i really want to kill mrs. o for saying that one sentence which could bring our team to utmost disaster] and bernice was good. but sigh, edward. he screwed it. his content was good. it's just that, he doesn't know how to present himself and no organization as well. well, we won by 9 points. not very impressive though. and according to willa (timekeeper), i was the best speaker. sheesh. zhen was next and bernice 3rd.

the motion, did i mention it before, was on retail therapy. i'm seriously dead beat already. because of all the things happening around me. and about him. i don't know anymore. abscence make the heart grow fonder, but three years. THREE years. i wonder if he still feels that way about me. i don't know..sigh. and then there's him2. haha. i know i'll never get him. never ever. but i still feel something about him. i guess, it's just friendship. just only, friendship. sigh. i'll never know. they'll never know.

okay, and the next motion, we're going against K. and we're the proposition. and the motion is about supporting co-ed. i don't know about co-ed. it's so,...controversial. you know, it might just be the root problem of all my confusion and problems right now. i hate it. those problems, this system. if i wasn't in all these schools i were't have met either of them and yeah, you know the flow. but what the...there's homosexuality. seriously, i'd rather be home-schooled. correction, self-taught.

sigh. we won. and okay, rather happy. by 94 points!! that's like 100. whoa. i can't really believe it at all. haha. and yeah, according to shiyin and dee, i apparently (and not very pleased with the fact) speak with a british accent. haha..not funny. and yeah, mrs. o said that, "oh, the reply speaker of the proposition had spoke very well. very polished...." along that line. anyway, i was blushing, my face was seriously hot. i could feel it. so i didn't hear the rest of the sentence, i just blocked it out. apparantly, after i spoke, every body clapped (very loudly for only 50+ people) and ooh-ed and ahh-ed. yes, including the boys. and kevin (urgh, the name just detest me. sorry) was like, "cheryl..." and then he went locked-jaw-open. sigh. like what the.

and about the disaster. janne thought she screwed up very badly. SHE DID NOT. and since mrs.o requested one reserve to speak once. and we chose jd to take her place. and she thought that we chose jd over her. i chose jd to replace her for ONLY ONE ROUND. because, we needed edward - he has good content. and bernice is great. and the rest didn't want me to get out. because to them, i was their "hope". haha, not funny. so she was really angry. in the end she simmered down a little. but i can see she's still rather pissed with me...and bernice...

nevermind. i'll just concentrate on my next motion. BLOGGING. how ironic. sheesh.

/ihopped at
1:18 AM

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